Over two years later...

It's amazing how long it has been since I have taken the time to write a blog post. And now I sit here avoiding the large amount of work in front of me, reading all of my old blog posts, and just reflecting about life.

I texted Michael letting him know I was reading my old blog, and I told him how blown away I was by how much time has passed, how many things have changed, but then how many things have oddly stayed the same.

There has been love... so much love. Michael still is such a huge part of my life, I am so happy with him, and we have something many people dream about. We moved in together a couple weeks after my last blog post, so it has been over two years! We bought a dog almost two years ago now, surprise, surprise, I got a yellow lab puppy! His name is Ryder and he is the best dog. I have maintained my close friendships, there were some bumps, but am so incredibly grateful to have everyone in my life that I do.

There has been loss... and it has been hard. I have lost my Grampa, my favorite person. I have lost my beautiful girl, Scout. I have lost my silly little Spazzy. Each loss has made me reflect, cry, and learn to move forward. I will never forget those three, and although it odd to group them together, they each have a part of my heart forever.

There has been growth... I went from not knowing what I wanted to be when I grew up, to still not knowing but having a crazy career. I had a few jobs and have pushed myself and grown very much on my career path. I have been extremely proud of myself.

Anyways, I think that that has been a quick and detailed enough description of the past two years. I will get more detailed potentially, or potentially forget about this blog for another two years. Either way, it was nice to check in today.

'til next time,
XOXO, B.

A big day.

It is my birthday, and last day as a college student. I cannot believe that this day has finally come! I am more excited than I have been in a long time! I can't seem to focus on my last minute studying... mainly because I have studied so much I am feeling burnt out. But that doesn't mean that I am not 100% nervous for this final. My final final, por supuesto, es el examen final del infierno. Ay. No quiero ir al examen, pero a las tres en la tarde, yo voy a acabar con la universidad! YAY! Alright, I just wanted to post in here today because I hadn't in awhile. Soon I will be moving back to my favorite place in the world, and a whole new set of adventures will begin. This is the end of my posts as a college student, let the new chapter of my life begin!

'til next time,

XOXO, B

Adele and self-pity.

It's a Wednesday night, and it's one of those nights where if I was classy enough, or had a taste for it, I would be sitting here drinking a glass or bottle of wine, with candles lit, one lamp on, and the window cracked with a light breeze blowing in and making sheer curtains dance in the candle light. Adele is playing in the background, and I am sitting here breathing deeply, calming myself down. I am in one of those pondering moods, one where writing seems to be my only salvation from myself.

Life is moving fast. Too fast, in fact, that I cannot seem to get my footing. I am losing my barring, and spinning, and watching the world move past at a speed that is incomprehensible. I am inexplicably excited for the future, so much so that I wish it would just get here already. But I am also so nervous and so scared, I don't know what to do with myself.

But this blog post is not supposed to be about that. This blog post is to vent, to talk things out. This is my blog, and my space to just sit here and wonder about things. And tonight, I am going to wonder out loud about something that I just saw in a movie tonight.

What I am wondering is, why am I so unassertive most of the time? Why do I sometimes let people push me around? Why do I rarely stick up for myself until it is too late? It is something that I simply and utterly dislike about myself. I am fed up with it, and with people, who walk all over me, because they have figured out that they are that type of person that I cannot say no to. I am who I am, and I suppose that I will be that way for the rest of my life because that pattern has already been molded into me... but I wish that it wasn't. I want to just say NO. So at least for tonight, and at least on here, I am going to say it... NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. And you know what? Sometimes, I want to be the one who people do things for. I want to be the one that you leave wall posts for. I want to be the one you drive hundreds of miles just to support them.

Ha, maybe one day.

'til next time,

XOXO, B

Oh, jealousy.

"Oh, jealousy, look what you’ve done.
You’ve got a hold of me, you’ve made me become,
Who I’d never be. And I’m running from,
This jealousy look what it's done."- Good Charlotte

Jealousy is one of the worst emotions we human beings are capable of feeling. It is stupid and usually insignificant, and not worth every problem it continually creates. I want to be stronger than it, I know I can be; but every once in awhile it just jumps up and tries to take ahold of me. Thankfully a girl can have a great friend that will snap her out of it, but I do really want to learn how to turn it off myself. Jealousy is ugly, useless and beneath everyone. So jealousy- go away.

That's all for now.

'til next time,

XOXO, B

Burlesque.

So for those of you that know me, you know that I love theatre. I love drama, I love acting, I love singing, I love pretending like I know how to dance. I love it all. And that is why Burlesque is one of my new favorite movies. I recently was privileged to watch it with three of the most talented people I know, and then I rented it again tonight. I am obsessed. Birthday present idea? Yes?

I love the story, the actors, the music, but most of all, I love the theatricality of the whole thing. It is so beautiful. Yea sure some of the acting is so-so and it wasn't the most original plot; the point is, they did an incredible job making a movie with beautiful people, great singing, and awesome costumes and lighting.

I really wish I could own all of the outfits that were in the movie, but I don't think many people would find them socially acceptable. Maybe for Halloween? Anyways, I recommend it to anyone who wants to see hot girls in minimal clothing, amazing vocal performances by Christina Aguilera and Cher, the hotness of Cam Gigandet, and a feel good story.

'til next time,

XOXO, B

Blurbs

So I was just thinking...

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

"When you grow up, your heart dies."

"Can you tell I'm wearing underwear? 'Cause I totally am."

"I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it."

"They just so sneaky that you think it was your idea.' 'Yeah. You're sitting back and you're like: "Oh, yeah. This my idea. But wait a second, why am I alone? Why am I unhappy?" "Why have I gained 20 pounds?"' 'They Jedi mind-trick you'"

"No! No! No!" Over and over! When you keep saying "No!" it just makes me so... Sometimes you make me so!... angry."

"To die would be an awfully big adventure."

"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere"

"It doesn't matter. It's in the past.' 'Yeah, but it still hurts.' 'Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it."

"In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and - SNAP - the job's a game!"

"I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who's ever lived: I've loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough. "

'til next time,

XOXO, B

Day 60- 60 Day Challenge

A picture of something you are excited about.

Cancun. Summer 2011.

Dang, 60 Days went by SO fast.

This photo challenge was really fun though, I will definitely miss it.

So, I guess this is so long until my next blog post!

'til next time,

XOXO, B